Preface: As I continue to slowly grind through Italian giallo/horror master Dario Argento's body of work, I've come to his semi-sequel to Suspiria. I've heard good things about this one, so let's get witchy already.
1:32: Main chick is reading about the Three Mothers. They destroyed the first one in Suspiria back in ol' Italy, and apparently the second one is in New York. Those Ellis Island employees must have been asleep at the wheel when they let HER in the country, am I right?!?! Huh?!?
2:20: Oh hey, music by Keith Emerson from 70s supergroup Emerson, Lake and Palmer. I have a feeling Moog keyboards will be involved
4:00: I was right!
5:04: It's been years since I saw Suspiria, but I take it the main character is the sister of the bro from that one and she's trying to figure out his crazy ramblings about witches
6:00: Ah, sagely old wise dude. Yes, give her advise. Whoa, not too much! Juuuuust enough to move the plot along. There we go, perfect
WARNING: SPOILERS AFTER THE JUMP, DUH!
7:18: Oh my god the voiceover
11:40: Lots of great blue and red lighting like in Suspiria, very cool
12:46: Yep, let's dive into the weird pool of water in the cellar. Oh hey, nipples! God bless you, Italy
14:30: Yep, that's a dead body with it's face missing if I've ever seen one. Also, voiceover guy was right about the key being in the cellar! How helpful
16:38: Oh yeah, I forgot about these movies being heavy on style and light on plot/logic. Brain going on autopilot.......mmmnow
19:40: Ah, the classic Argento flying camera shot. Love it! Main chick's bro gets a letter from her about her suspicions of this second witch in NYC
21:55: Soundtrack is proggin' ouuuut
26:32: Rando chick who stole the bro's letter is somehow compelled to investigate this whole witch thing. Pre-emptive RIP for you, lady
29:00: Oh hey there's a
32:00: Dialogue!
Aforementioned nosy chick: "Have you ever heard of the Three Sisters?"
Rando dude she's hanging out with: "You mean those black singers?"
34:56: Power going on and off, sure sign of witchcraft! That trip to the fusebox will surely be your last, rando dude
36:10: Sure enough
37:00: And a knife in the back from a black leather glove assailant for the nosy chick. That'll happen
46:23: Red light, blue light, repeat x100000
47:20: That is one dull guillotine. RIP main chick
50:00: Female Nurse: "Ah, Poetry! A pastime especially well-suited for women!"
57:40: The bro-dude is trying to figure out what happened to his sister and is consorting with a crazy neighbor lady at her apartment. Movie is rapidly becoming weirder and weirder
1:07: CAT ATTACK!
1:12: Oh, sagely old dude, stop being coy!
1:14: Turns out sagely old dude just kind of a dick. He keeps a sack of cats captive in a box
1:17: And now he's drowning said cats. Don't think the witches are going to be stoked on that, bud
1:18: RAT ATTACK! Serves you right, dick!
1:25: Awesome kill scene for crazy lady's butler and maid
1:31: Building is def on fire, no one really seeming to notice yet
1:33: Gettin' super witchy now
1:37: Bro-dude meets the architect of the cursed building, which is not terribly dissimilar than Neo meeting the Architect in The Matrix Reloaded (LOL)
1:39: Building is still on fire, still no one is all that concerned
1:42: So the nurse was the main witch? Sort of?
1:43: Yay fire trucks!
1:44: Man, that ending was weak
Final thoughts: Weird flick. Pretty par for the course for Argento. Tons of style, a few cool kill scenes, overall creepy atmosphere, but not a lick of sense to made of it all. He made Tenebre after this one, which is possibly my favorite Argento flick, and it's a lot more fun to watch.
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