Editor's note: For the rest of this month's flicks, I'm going to liveblog them as opposed to writing reviews after the fact. Fair warning, this might suck even worse!
Preface: so the last 5 years or so of horror flicks have pretty much been dominated by the French as far as quality goes. I remember seeing a trailer for this flick, which almost certainly contains zombies, and thought it looked pretty decent. Let 'er rip, Netflix!
3:44: AW CRAP SUBTITLES!?!?! Just kidding, subtitles are cool. Makes me feel like an intellectual.
5:00: Some strange robbery plot is afoot, details murky...
6:27: Teehee, French profanity!
7:00: Oh jesus, that is some bad shaky cam action. This is not promising
11:50: OH NO THE ROBBERY IS GOING HORRIBLY WRONG!!!
16:23: Huh, the robber crew are actually crooked cops. Must have missed that detail
17:00: Rut roh, sounds like a zombie apocalypse is brewing down the street...gunshots, sirens, screeching tires...
WARNING: SPOILERS AFTER JUMP, DUH!
19:00: Yep, full-scale zombie outbreak in full effect
21:00: Holy shit, they just spent a good 30 seconds shooting the first zombie they came in contact with and neglected to aim for the head. Amateurs!
23:00: All the chuckleheads they just killed in the raid are coming back to life at an alarming rate, people are getting picked off left and right, I can't keep up!
24:34: Well, they're making up for the shitty shaky cam by using tons of actual gore, so that's cool in my book
26:00: Just showed a shot of the rest of the city from their building, looks like Baghdad during the Gulf War. The proverbial horde is gathering around their building...
27:45: Actual dialogue: "Don't be a fag, Bola. We'll just blow their heads off." Fair enough!
30:11: The handful of crooked cops and actual crooks that are left just made a truce to work together to make it out of this building alive! How precious!
32:00: Quick break for a few bumps of coke, naturally. Who wants face a horde of zombies sober? Not these crazy Frenchies
33:38: The rather trivial reasons behind the raid are being revealed, can't say I really give a shit at this point
36:45: And we're journeying through the darkened building, looking for an escape route. Tension building sorta.....
37:31: Lots of screaming in the dark, zombies attack, can't see shit. One dude might have just died. The action is nearly impossible to follow. The actual fighting is sped up like a cartoon! Fucking French Looney Tunes over here
44:21: And in a strange development, the crew stumble upon some fat French dude with an axe just wailing on zombies. Bit of a character, this guy. Referred to the zombies as "chinks" for some reason. Must be a Vietnam vet.
55:31: Some vague political commentary while the crew chills in the fat dude's place. TV coverage of the zombie takeover, a classic trope of zombie flicks
59:00: More cocaine! Woooo! Gotta stay sharp!
1:01: Shit is getting weird, there's talk of raping a zombie chick.
1:02: Head of the actual crooks puts a stop to that nonsense by capping the zombie chick, makes everyone feel ashamed of themselves, aaaaand moving on...
1:04: The lady cop who came in with them, got separated, has now returned all battle-hardened, on some La Femme Nikita shit
1:10: Yes, brilliant, let's go to the ground floor where we know for a fact there are thousands of zombies just waiting to tear us apart. Great plan.
1:11: Of course! The building's super had a massive stockpile of military grade weapons! Lock n' load, ya crazy frogs!
1:12: Aaaand the zombies break in finally, of course they do. Lots of screaming and automatic weapon fire
1:15: An hour and fifteen minutes later and these assholes are still allergic to shooting these goons in the head. YOU ARE WASTING AMMO, DICKHEADS!
1:21: Main crooked cop dude gets his own fairly epic "CHOKE ON 'EM" scene where he finally gets overtaken by the horde. Pretty gnarly. They didn't explicitly show him dying though so I bet that crazy french bastard is still alive even though that makes absolutely zero sense
1:23: Old fat dude is just tearing zombies apart with an M-60, Rambo stylee.
1:26: Old dude goes down with ship, taking himself out via grenade along with a shitload of zombies while head crook dude and La Femme Nikita escape the building
1:28: Nikita predictably kills the head crook dude with whom she had the initial beef with and was apparently the reason behind the whole raid....aaaaaaand cut to black as the sound of zombies approaching rises. How ambiguous!
Final thoughts: I've seen worse zombie flicks, but this was definitely pretty shitty. Props for using tons of real gore and minimal CG blood, but major demerits for the super budget looking shaky cam action shoots and sped up footage in the fight scenes.
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