 |
| "It stinks!" |
One of the first posts I wrote for this stupid blog was a super long post with "hilarious" one sentence reviews of all the films nominated for Best Picture for the 2011 Oscars, whether or not I'd seen them or not. Well, it's getting to be that time again and the Oscar buzz is a' buzzin' and yet again, I have no interest in seeing many of these shameless Oscar bait movies. Yet again, the ol' sappy bio-pic is reigning supreme this time of year. Now, I actually went and saw "The King's Speech" in theaters for some unknown reason and it certainly wasn't awful. Great "Acting with a capital A" performances by Geoffrey Rush and that one charmingly shy British bloke, whatever his name is. Overall, though, kinda boring and rather unremarkable as a whole, but as you know, it won best picture AND best director. So, of course all the studios got their bio-pics locked and loaded for Oscar season, rounded up some big name actors and actresses willing to go big or go home and churned out the "For Your Consideration" promo material.
Tragedy and deaths in the family stories also seem to be popular this year, which you know, is just lovely. I have less of an issue with these types of movies than the bio-pics, though. I mean, at this point it's beyond a cliche. It's just shameless, desperate and above all, unoriginal and wholly uninteresting to me. 9 times out of 10 I'd rather watch a fictional story I'm unfamiliar with unfold in front of me than watch someone retell something that already actually happened.
Anyways, here's a bunch of this year's Oscar Buzz Bin movies that I'll probably never watch:
My Week With Marilyn - Michelle Williams might be a babe and all, but I don't need to sit through a 2 hour melodrama about Monroe's fling with some lucky young British turd.
The Iron Lady - Meryl Streep playing the tough old bird former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher? How this wasn't a fake trailer on "The Critic" is beyond me. Apparently you really can't make this stuff up.
J. Edgar - I am a fan of both Clint Eastwood's directorial style AND Leonardo Dicaprio as an actor, but you couldn't pay me to sit through 2+ hours of slogging through J. Edgar Hoover's rise to power. Who gives a shit?
We Bought A Zoo - Nope. Not even Scar-Jo could get me in the door for this one.
The Descendants - I love me some George Clooney, but this one hits far too close to home right now. Will probably never watch. Plus, it's made by the same guy who directed Sideways and I am NOT. DRINKING. MERLOT.
The Artist - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA fuck no.
lol'd at i am not drinking merlot. dude this post is RIGHT on. you going to do another one with even more of the oscar garbage out there soon?
ReplyDeletethanks man. yeah, i'll probably do another run down once they announce the actual nominees. it's sure to be another absurd list.
ReplyDeletei will flip if Drive actually gets nominated. that would be wild. really doubt it, though.
PS: have you ever actually sat through Sideways? sweet jesus. shit is whiter than saying "THE WIRE IS THE GREATEST SHOW EVERRRRR."
also, i just re-read my post from last year and A) I thankfully still haven't punished myself by watching "The Social Network" and B) I did watch "Toy Story 3" and of course it made me cry a little bit. lol
ReplyDeleteread this post out loud last night in a fucking movie nerd FRENZY with swank. LOTS of lolz. there are so many critically acclaimed movies coming out or have come out in december but 90% of them look like TRASH. pure filth. the artist? are you fucking joking with me? midnight in paris? you're serious? a seperation? i'd rather kill myself. outrageous. last year the only 1 of the ten nominees for best pic i did not see was the king's speech, and i never will. this year i don't want to see any of the oscar bait, compared to last year (which was also pretty low ballish) it's like night and fucking day.
ReplyDeletesoooooooooooo weird and shitty. fuck.
and yeah i saw sideways in the theater. WEIRD flick. will NEVER watch again. ever.
LOL, that rules. meant to include Midnight in Paris in this post, slipped my mind. Woody Allen still makes movies? Come on, man.
ReplyDeleteA Separation......call me crazy but that's one i would sit through. the trailer intrigued me, i dunno why.
Saw Shame today, doubt it gets nominated for anything cuz it's dark and weird as shit. Didn't love it, but I didn't regret seeing it either. Weird wild stuff.