"The Mechanic" (2011) Dir. Simon West

Ben: So, uh, Jason...you wanna...uh, get some beers later? Maybe pick up some chicks?

Ben:........Jason?

Jason: I'm sorry, mate. What's your name again?

Ben: (sigh)

Two of my favorite actors together in an action movie about professional hitmen directed by the guy who made "Con Air," what could go wrong?

Well, a shitload could go wrong actually. And it did.

First of all, Jason Statham is awesome. The dude has made himself into one of the very best action stars of the 2000s. From getting his start in British crime movies like "Snatch" to blasting his way through punk-ass eurotrash henchmen in the "Transporter" movies. Not to mention the insanity of both "Crank" movies and even stealing the show in the woefully underachieving "The Expendables." And he's done it all with full-on male pattern baldness! He just doesn't give a fuck.

Ben Foster, on the other hand, is an actual "Actor" with a capital A. No one plays a troubled or slightly crazy young man with issues better than this guy. He's got that shit down pat. He gained notoriety in small, but scene-stealing roles in "3:10 To Yuma" and "30 Days of Night" and then gave an incredible performance opposite crazy-ass Woody Harrelson in "The Messenger" as an Iraq War veteran given the duty of going around to the families of soldiers who died in combat and giving them the awful news. It was one of the very best films of 2009 and it was a bit overlooked by most folks. He was also awesome in the sci-fi flick "Pandorum."

So, with a real critically acclaimed role under his belt, I guess Foster decided it was time to do a fun action flick. I know I would if I were him. Sounds like a good time. But, maybe he should choose his scripts a bit more carefully in the future because this is clearly a one-star kind of movie. Statham and Foster never really show any kind of chemistry, not even in an adversarial kind of way. This is definitely not a buddy-buddy kind of action flick, their characters form an uneasy sort of bond. But even then it still felt very forced.

No real motives are given for why any of the characters do what they do. We have no idea why Statham is a hitman, we just know he's really damn good at it and his "fixer" is played briefly by Donald Sutherland of all people. Then he dies and his son, played by Foster, is total fuck-up but wants to somehow avenge his dad's death, Statham reluctantly tries to mentor him and it all just kinda falls apart and doesn't really go anywhere until the completely absurd ending.

Clearly I'm devoting far too much thought to a shitty action flick that got dumped off in January, which is where Hollywood buries the flicks they already know are intrinsically bad and won't make much money. That's what happens to completely unnecessary remakes of Charles Bronson movies that no one saw the first time around. But, you know, shit got blown up, bad dudes got their bones broken and Jason Statham was a badass.  There was just no need for 2 major stars here. I think Foster could definitely rock his own action flick and hopefully he will some day.