Basket Case 2 (1990) dir. Frank Henenlotter

Editor's note: my output has been fucking dismal this October so I'm making up for it with longer and crappier reviews. Lucky you!

If you're a goon for filthy, trashy and gory horror movies, then you probably already know Mr. Henenlotter's name and hold him in high regard. Throughout his film making career, he's done nothing but deliver the goods in the form of low budget, darkly humorous horror gems full of practical special effects and general grossness.

Basket Case, Henenlotter's first feature, concerns this Duane fella who was born with a siamese twin in the form a giant, bulbous head thing with an arm attached to his side. Naturally, this lil' guy known as Belial is just kinda evil and is rage-blackout-pissed all the time. Just super aggro. He can't really talk, so he just screams all the time like Sam Kinison or something. But, he does have psychic link with his bro Duane, of course.

Somewhere along the line, Duane's parents decided to separate the twins. Apparently this was an unethical move because they had to find some sketchy ass doctors who were willing to check their Hippocratic Oath at the door. Duane ends up keeping his evil lil' discarded bro in a basket to hide from the outside world.

Fast forward a few years. Due to the aforementioned psychic link, the bros decide to go to the filthiest burg of them all, New York City in the early 1980s, in order to exact sweet revenge on the doctors who separated them. They do just that, which results in this iconic scene, and lots of other wacky hijinks ensue due to Duane's previously sheltered life getting a big ol' dose of big city reality. It's a great, great flick. Tons of gore and really crappy/awesome creature effects for Belial.

So this here sequel that I intended to write about 4 paragraphs ago, it was filmed 8 years later with same dude who played Duane yet the events of the film are meant to take place directly after the end of the first one. Love it!

Duane and Belial get taken in by a long lost aunt who, bless her kind heart, has devoted her life to sheltering the freakshows of the world. She quite literally has an attic full of freaks she has taken in from all around the world. I mean, who doesn't, right?

Despite this seeming like the perfect place for Duane and Belial to get their chill on, wacky hijinks ensue, freaks assemble to defend themselves from invasive tabloid reporters, Belial continues to be kinda evil despite finding love with a shy female head-arm-thingy simliar to himself named Eve (yes, there's a tender love scene) and it ends with Duane flipping out because he can't be normal in spite of himself and ends up re-attaching Belial to his side with a lil' DIY surgery.

Overall, not as gory as the first one, but all the awesome creature prosthetics are great and it's a generally zany and bizarre lil' flick. And of course, there's still Basket Case 3: The Progeny out there, waiting to be viewed.

OCTOBER 2011 - TO WALK THE NIGHT...

You know the drill. It's god damn October. Watch horror movies and listen to Danzig. Time to party.

THE UNSEEN:

Ghoulies (all of them, finally)
Basket Case 2
Brain Damage
Swamp Thing
Candyman
The Hitcher
Rabid
Shivers
Pumpkinhead
Dark Night of the Scarecrow
The Stepfather (1986)
Monsters
Maniac
Dead and Buried
Deep Red
Black Death
Santa Sangre
The Horde
I Saw The Devil

Gonna make a few trips to Scarecrow Video to see what other jams I can find. Love that place.

Definitely going to catch the probably crappy Thing prequel in theaters and maybe Melancholia if it hits theaters here this month.

Crappy reviews to follow. Happy October, goons.

2011 Seattle Mariners Post-Mortem

Habitually, I went to check the MLB app on my phone this morning while riding the bus to see who was pitching for the Mariners tonight, only to realize that no one is pitching for them tonight and won't be doing so in a game that counts for another 181 days or so. That's a familiar hollow feeling.

The marathon is over and the Mariners finished, but barely. It's hard to believe and even harder to remember that this team was briefly in contention for the AL West or at least for the Wild Card. Then they stumbled. Then they got back on track. Then they lost 17 straight games. 17 fucking games. In a row. After it got around 10 games I just kinda wanted them to just keep losing for the absurdity of it all. They fell about 5 games short of the historical record for consecutive losses. They couldn't even win at losing.

So much went wrong. Not as much as in 2010, but still, so many things went wrong. There was Justin Smoak's multiple injuries and terrible slump after his hot start. There was the Carlos Peguero experiment that lasted about 2 months too long. There was the continued struggle to score runs. Again. Not as bad as in 2010, but still really really bad. Ichiro "slumped" as much as a player like Ichiro can. Yeah, he had a bad month and a half, but falling just short of 200 hits after 11 seasons is hardly a failure in my eyes. Chone Figgins bascially ceased to exist. Milton Bradley continued to be wildly entertaining to watch, but still couldn't hit the ball to save his life. Then he got released around the halfway point. Like it would have made a difference. Oh, yeah and Adam fucking Kennedy batted clean-up multiple times during the season. I mean, come on.

Pitching continued to be a bright spot. Felix had another incredible year and Michael Pineda debuted and had an impressive rookie year. Dustin Ackley made his debut and was every bit as awesome as every smart baseball person said he'd be. Perhaps even better. Mike Carp proved he belonged in the majors after his second call-up of the year and established himself as a legitimate clean-up hitter. There are more promising young players in the organization then any other time I can recall, which does give me some amount of hope for the next few seasons.

I went to about 15 games this year, I think. Sitting in the King's Court for the NL rules "road" series against the Florida Marlins was my favorite. Perhaps my favorite game I've been to at Safeco. Felix became the first Mariner pitcher to get a hit at Safeco. Miguel Olivo hit a clutch home run right to where everyone's "Hit It Here" sign was pointing as we chanted his name. It was glorious. Needless to say, whomever came up with the King's Court promotion deserves a raise.


I also witnessed the 8 run comeback against the stupid Toronto Blue Jays, although that was more the work of Toronto's terrible bullpen than Seattle's batting line-up, but you know, that's why they play the games and all that.

Having a job at Harborview and being able to walk down to the stadium after work provided me with a lot of good times this year. I'm thankful for that. I already miss having that as an opportunity on any given day during a homestand. Something to look forward to next year, I guess.

Watching the results of last nights crazy tie-breaking Wild Card games made me intensely melancholic, nostalgic and jealous all at once. Those moments, those god damn victorious moments, are exactly why people follow this stupid game. They are so glorious because they are so god damn rare. I legitimately worry that the Mariners will never provide me with moments like those ever again. I don't even know what I'd do with myself if the Mariners were to make the playoffs again, let alone get a shot at the World Series. It seems so fantastic and unrealistic. I can't comprehend it. But, the mere thought of such things quickens my heartbeat and gives me shivers.

There's no other way to end this post than by quoting Joe Posnanski since I basically paraphrased/plagiarized him above:

"Elation. Sadness. Mayhem. Champagne. Sleepless fury. Never been a night like it. Funny, if I was trying to explain baseball to someone who had never heard of it, I wouldn’t tell them about Wednesday night. No, it seems to me that Wednesday night isn’t what makes baseball great. It’s all the years you spend waiting for Wednesday night that makes baseball great."

"Heat" (1995) Dir. Michael Mann

Once every year or two, I get a strong urge to re-watch the movie "Heat" for many reasons.

1. I love Michael Mann's visual style
2. De Niro's character and his dedication to professionalism with no words wasted
3. Pacino's character and his wide-eyed freakouts and dogged determination
4. Kilmer's character and his badass ponytail
5. The bank job/shootout scene in downtown LA
6. Incredible soundtrack
7. It was a pivotal movie of my youth

My dad took to me to see it in theaters. I was in 5th grade, which means this movie is now 16 years old. Wow......anyways, I remember it having a ton of hype because the big name actors involved. I don't think I'd even seen "The Godfather" movies at that point, but I knew it was a "big deal" that Al Pacino and Robert De Niro were in the same movie for only the second time ever. My dad was psyched as hell to see it.

We emerged from the theater some 10 hours later (movie is super long, man!) and I was just floored by the whole thing. I didn't comprehend some of the more subtle themes of movie, but it was such a visceral, raw and emotional movie-going experience. It had weight. It wasn't a comic book movie or a hollow action flick. For whatever reason, it resonated with me even then.

And I would revisit the film often as I got older, noticing new cool things about it here and there, quoting some of Pacino's more ridiculous lines and always regarding it as personal favorite of mine. It made me a huge fan of Michael Mann and lead me to discover his earlier gems like "Thief" and "Manhunter." No one tells a crime story quite like Mann. And no one films it as well as he does either. And he can also bust out incredible action/adventure films like "Last of the Mohicans." Okay, enough gushing already.

I think the major reason why "Heat" stuck with me so long as youngin' was that it dealt heavily in shades of gray with its characters and story in ways that I probably hadn't been exposed to much at that point. Pacino is the good guy, the cop, but he completely neglects his family life. De Niro is the bad guy, the bank robber, but he's really a pretty decent human being with many admirable traits. His crew of dudes, Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, the guy who played Cerrano in "Major League", are also decent people trying to provide for themselves and their families. You end up rooting for the bad guys and it's heartbreaking when they lose. The protagonist/antagonist storyline that dominates so many of our fictional stories couldn't be further from reality and sometimes that's what we want. There's nothing wrong with that. Escapism is more fun. But, the accurate portrayal of complicated real life morality in "Heat" is what made such an impression on me and for that I will always appreciate it.

“You know, we are sitting here, you and I, like a couple of regular fellas. You do what you do, and I do what I gotta do. And now that we’ve been face to face, if I’m there and I gotta put you away, I won’t like it. But I tell you, if it’s between you and some poor bastard whose wife you’re gonna turn into a widow, brother, you are going down.”

"I said fuck it, I'm on one"

Dawg days of summer. 3 unrelated thoughts:

• I am currently signed up for two half-marathons, one in Idaho and one in Victoria, BC. 2005 Eric Sanford would not be able to comprehend 2011 Eric Sanford. Progression through unlearning? (cue Snapcase riffs.) 
• "Attack The Block" and its soundtrack, two of the best things to come out this summer. I loved "Super 8," but ATB eclipses it in almost every way. If it's playing near you, go see it. Hopefully it hits DVD soon because I want to watch it like 20 more times.
• Cancer is fucking dumb. Relatives, co-workers, everybody getting hit with it. What a stupid world we live in when we can't even figure out how to fix our bodies when our own cells go all haywire.

Quit bumming me out.

The trailer for the prequel to "THE THING" doesn't make me want to kill myself

Kiiiiind of a sick poster/tagline

In fact, it looks surprisingly awesome. Or, at least, as good as it can look for being a follow-up to one of the best horror/sci-fi movies ever made. From the looks of it, Norwegian director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. just might have gotten the memo on how to not completely botch a remake/prequel/reboot/whatever the fuck they call them these days.

I just watched the trailer and I'm kinda flippin' out a little bit here. Before I say more, go ahead and check it out:

http://www.firstshowing.net/2011/watch-first-full-trailer-for-universals-the-thing-prequel-emerges/

Here are your "MAC WANTS THE FLAMETHROWER!" bullet points:

• Using hints of the original Ennio Morricone score is BRILLIANT because it instantly gave me goosebumps. That is one of my favorite movie scores ever because it fits the desolate, isolated and paranoia-inducing vibe of the movie so well. So, bravo for that.
• The chick who played Ramona in "Scott Pilgrim" seems to have the Kurt Russell role, which is cool and modern and stuff, I guess. Next thing you know they'll give 'em the right to vote and own land! Hiyooo!
• I wish they'd give it a different title just because having to put (2011) after the title will juust annoy movie nerds and video store workers until the end of time.
• Flamethrowers, someone yelling "BURN IT!", that same husky dog, similar wardrobes to the original....all killer.
• Looks like there might be a lilllll' bit too much CGI for my liking, but I'll hold judgment on that until I see it. The brilliant practical effects of the original will probably never be matched or duplicated in this era, but hopefully there's a good amount of real gore.
• The only thing more annoying than remakes of classic movies is complaining and getting all righteously indignant about remakes of classic movies. Hollywood is going to keep shitting on your memories whether you dorks fucking like it or not. So, as someone who holds John Carpenter's original film close to his heart and was dreading this prequel, this trailer is a breath of relief. It could still totally fucking suck (some of the dialogue in that trailer is pretty stilted), but at least it looks like they stayed true to the look and feel of the original.
• October 2011. The annual horror-a-thon plus seeing this flick in theaters. Bring it the fuck on.

"The years they passed and so did we."

Oh, my poor neglected blog. I'm like a kid who ditches an old toy when given a new one. Except that new toy was working full-time again. Whattayagonnado?

It will never cease to amaze me how seasonal and memory-flashback inducing music can be for me. I put on "Dookie" by Green Day and I'm in fifth grade again driving down Ruston Way with my mom on an impossibly warm Northwest summer evening. I hear the Green Album by Weezer, which I just now realized is 10 years old (fuck!), and I'm instantly back in high school in Spring of 2001, driving around Puyallup just blasting that record. I throw on "The Only Reason I Feel Secure" by Pedro The Lion and I remember what a mopey little depressed dipshit I was during my freshman year of college. I put on "Panopticon" by Isis and I suddenly miss stroking my gigantic and gross red beard I used to have and have flashbacks to filing used CDs at Everyday Music. I hear "The Eye of Every Storm" by Neurosis and I feel a chill in my bones as I recall trudging through various snowstorms in 2008.

Anyways, Summer is finally here in the Northwest and I just wanna listen to upbeat music, hang out with friends, go swimming, drink good beer, watch baseball and feel content.

And I want to say rest in peace to one of the kindest people I've ever known, my Aunt Joy Christine Barnes. She lost her battle with lung cancer last week after fighting it for 4 years past the initial diagnosis. She made the most of those 4 years, that's for damn sure. I just returned from her funeral in Southern Maryland, which was one of the saddest, yet profoundly uplifting experiences I've ever had. A lot of people are missing Joy right now and I'm one of them.